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Tuesday, September 06, 2005
This will leave foreigner scratching their heads in wonder but I don't care!
In Singapore, living in Highly Dangerous Buildings (HDB), people have already got used to Paying and Paying. In fact, you don’t just pay, you Pay Unit Bankrupt (PUB). If that’s not enough, somebody still Purposely Want to Dig (PWD) from you. What can you do if you are in a Money Oriented Environment (MOE).
With the current Mad Accounting System (MAS), you are forced to Pay the Sum Ahead (PSA) which make some people Permanently Owe Some Banks (POSB) and live on Loan Technique Always (LTA). When you are sick, you might be able to use your Cash Prior to Funeral (CPF) fund, if you happen to be admitted to the Money Operated Hospital (MOH) on time.
If you are out of luck, you may meet doctors who Never Use Heart (NUH) to treat you and you would be Sure to Give-up Hope (SGH). When that happens, Call Home (CH), you deserve a better place to recuperate. To help to ease the traffic, motorists have to pay Cash On Expressways (COE). If that doesn't help, the Lousy Tax Accounting (LTA) can always Effectively Raise Prices (ERP). If you don’t own a car, you can always go for the Mad Rush to Train (MRT) and get squashed Side by Side (SBS).
Under all these pressures, there is not many places we can go to relax not even the good old place we used to go to because it has become So Expensive Nothing To See Actually (SENTOSA)
The Moneytree Authority of Singapore (MAS) launched a brand new Singapore Dollar bill, which has been named the "Peanut Series". Each peanut series bill is legal tender equivalent to 600,000 Singapore Dollars, henceforth known as 1 Peanut.
The CEOs across the Republic have been quick to applaud the launch of the 1 Peanut bill. In an interview with a Mr. Durai, a CEO of a philanthropic organisation, who wished to remain anonymous, he said, "Now I don't have to carry suitcases of money home. Prior to the issuing of the Peanut, I had to carry a whole suitcase of small change home every month. This is because the people who paid me tend to do so in small amounts, like $5 dollars each time, and it can be very irritating. Now I am just paid 1 Peanut with a single bill, slip it quickly into my wallet and off I go. It's very convenient!"
The reaction by the general public was however cool. Most said that it is unlikely that they will ever use a 1 Peanut bill. With a average national income of S$3000 (0.005 Peanut), the average Singaporean will need about 2 lifetimes to save a Peanut. Said a Mr. Tan, who is a plumber, "The other day, I installed a golden tap in some CEO's bathroom and he paid me using 1 Peanut for the $1000 golden tap. I tell him where got enough change?
Watch out for the newest security features on the 1 Peanut note, including a new watermark which replaces the traditional lion head. The new watermark can only be seen under an intense bright light and close scrutiny because of its extreme lack of transparency.
According to MAS spokesman, the added security features are extremely important given that 1 Peanut can probably buy three 4-room HDB flats, or 10 Nissan Sunnies, the average Singaporean will be very tempted to lay their hands on a Peanut.
And more of stunning animated gifs! 
Saturday, September 03, 2005
For those of you who feel safe to be protected in a car and sniggers at 'naked' motorcyclist... Monday, August 29, 2005
Unscrupulous tactic to get yourself married!
Yes! My dear Cheng Chin Yuen, resorted to tricking Karen go up a 4900 ft moutain and at the edge of a precipice, grab her and hang her in midair, feet over nothing (she's quite small and light, and he's capable of a few one arm chinups I think) and demanded that she marry him! Admist this god forsaken place where there's nothing but km and km of blue skies, white clouds and pieces of tall jutting rocks called moutain peaks, she has no choice but to accede with a defeated "sure!" 
http://fivetospare.blogspot.com/2005/08/two-drifters-off-to-see-world.html
What is he thinking?!?!  They have been together for so many years, why now? Sign contract, bond for life you know! Maybe it's the 2 days of diarrhoea that finally prompted him, that he need somebody like Karen around to...search toilet paper for him and cleans his soiled pants and underwear..... 
Haha,  just joking obviously... Nice one there Mr Cheng. And cleverly done not at a more beautiful moutain in Europe or Tibet, which will make the "let's revisit that wonderful moment" trip in the future so darn expensive!
Sigh, I've been having pretty shitty day (losing some at Mahjong not included!) but this really warms my heart. Congrats, and pls hold your wedding dinner at sea level.
Wishing you ever lasting bliss that outlast the moutains you stand upon, and so much happiness that you can share with all the nice people you'll meet in this trip and have enough left to give to the people you despise.
His blog was already linked on my sidebar, called fivetospare in case you're wondering....
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
On 14 Aug we celebrated Mich's birthday...
Ok, another 'late' blog...
4 of us (LS, Alex, ATKS, me) had a small get together at Esplanade Thai Express to celebrate Mich's belated birthday.
Why Esplanade? Because got fireworks lor.... Why Thai Express? Because it's strategically situated (supposedly) to see the fireworks lor.... And it seems the only restaurant we eat there.
Ok, you know me: Photos!
Did I mention fireworks? Well this is like the only acceptable photo taken, given the fact that I did not use a tripod. As you can see, the fireworks happened a distance away, at Marina City Park. Nope, can't see a thing from Thai Express...
Here I must mention this weird phenomenon... that girls (most - you know who you are who) goes gaa gaa over this aerial display of burning magnesium, sulphur, phosporus and heavy metals. Mich was going "ooooohhh! aaaahhh!' Waaahhhh! So niceeeeeee!" all the time. Forgot to mention we have to walk a good 60 metres to get a decent view of the explosion, when they are high enough and not obscured by the trees. I was with Michelle, futilely taking photos while our 3 friends choose to stay rooted at the table that they have been rooted to for the last 2 hours.
Well, the show lasted a good 16 minutes I think, few hundred $$ just burned in 960 seconds. Cool.
Anyway, after the fireworks, we proceed to cut the cake. The cake was some creamy tiramisu sin. I wonder why humans are so enthu in butting globs of fat and oil into their mouth.....
 
Well...it's the 7th month, so try and ignore the....well u know.
Anyway we did took some decent ones, and that's the cake I was talking about. Again, try and ignore the skeletal fingers...:
 
Well after like 20 seconds, the cake is...
 And then... notice the arrangement of the forks... guess who ate half the cake?
No cake, so they turn to deep thoughts....
Saturday, August 20, 2005
20 Aug 05 - Bike trip to Hatyai
Although blogs are suppose to be up to date and the latest stuff, I have to resort to recapping some of the more interesting events that had past, due to my hectic schedule and moral torment between updating this blog or watching Full Metal Alchemist, which I have just completed downloading 51 episodes of them over 20 days...
Anyhow, I joined a bike trip to Hatyai from 05 Aug till 09 Aug, taking advantage of the weekend and public holiday during National Day. The organiser target it for slow bikes, meaning 2B bikes and with a estimated average speed of 110km/h. A total of 8 bikes wents: 2 Honda Wave 125, 1 Honda Sonic 125, 1 Phantom 200, 3 CB400 Super Four and 3 scooters (an Atlantic, a X9 and a Majesty 250. 2 comes with stereo sound...) And of course me, on my trusty Honda Phantom 150cc. I'm the only 2 stroker though to try this crazy trip.
The ride was uneventful, though 1 bike got a puncture and the Sonic keeps overheating and thus slowed down the process. Not to mention the sleepiness factor after 10 hours of journey and 5 more to go. I got a puncture in Hatyai town itself but was well patched up. Pictures found at http://www.pbase.com/snowparang/hatyai here are some highlights:
 
 
Frankly, it was quite a boring place, except for the cheapo food (bird's nest, shark's fin are some delicacy common found there). The most interesting sight for me, at least, is the number of middle age Chinese looking man walking hand in hand with a young Thai lady, and what's the chance that the guy is NOT a Singaporean...
Well it's a bike trip, and half the pleasure is in the ride itself. Sort of a conquest, that both the rider and the bike can make it across the 900 km and back. Been there, done that...now really tempted to
upgrade my 2 stroker to a more dependent 4 stroker with a larger capacity. Until then, I will be looking forward to my next far journey: Bangkok!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
16 Aug 05 - More interesting blogs
Well if you're kinda bored of waiting for me to update stuff, why not hop over to these interesting Singapore blogs?
SarongPartyGirl - Her blog got famous because of her nude photos AND publicity by our national newspaper. But that doesn't obscure the fact that she's a terribly lively person, with lots to tell and not even a little bit shy to talk about them. Nude photos are down but frankly they aren't very complimentary.... Personally I think she's a pretty good writer, though I do think the sex stuff is getting a bit overdose and could do with some more variety in writing it, rather than the usual "leathers and whips".
Talk Rock - Wah this one is an incidental find, and I highly recommend this to Singaporeans! Supposedly Ah Beng with a conscience, not only is the KNNCCB and fucking here fucking there language superbly anecdotal and remind me of fond NS times, it (in a weird and not entirely glorious way) truly talk the talk of Singaporeans. I 100% understand what he's saying, and the English professor from Oxford will most probably castrate himself and join the Ah Gua show in Thailand after reading it.
FiveToSpare - Well I won't say this is a fantastic blog, but it is from someone I know, which is rare enough. Chin Yuen was a slippers trotting, singlet donning high calibre student from NUS geography stream and later became a teacher to, of course, pass down his remarkable manners and enlightening way of life to his unfortunate secondary students. Well knowing him, he got bored soon enough and recently quitted to roam around the world, together with his partner (I don't know why this makes him sound gay but he isn't..I think... and this 'partner' is a she) and this blog chronicles his adventure.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Well good day my fellow loyal stalkers, I'm finally back, to show that a) I didn't die or fatally wounded in a motorcycle accident; b) I'm not tired of this nonsensical blog; although I've been neglecting Ranting Parang for a month or more. It's been so long that it actually felt kinda refreshing to reread my past entries!
Well it's all about time and space, and time I've little of it. Busy busy, and other priorities just kinda pushed my "Update blog at least weekly" schedule to the 967th least urgent matter, just slightly above "Tidying my room - dated 2003 Lunar New Year". Hey, not entirely my fault, cos my readers seldom respond. Where is the love? To show thy love for thy Parang, look at my Dream Bike for birthday on the left side of the screen..
But I've been thinking, and gathering info to populate this little space. But first up, a trip update: The Port Dickson trip to with the Phantom Knights (PKs). Well, they are a bunch of losers who rides or ridden Honda Phantoms before (my current bike), print T-shirts and stickers with the Honda Phoenix logo and sell away their 2B Phantoms for a totally uninspiring 2A bike known as Super 4 (it's so uninspiring the TP in Hatyai use it as a TP bike!). Yes, that's what you have, 'loyal' phantom riders. Anyway, the trip isn't really that interesting, but luckily I got my dear dear to accompany me. For few thousands words of more trip detail click here for photos! Of course i'll select some good ones to post it here:
 
The hut looks pretty quaint, and kinda nice with my bike in front!
Well, many many days later, AFTER pissing and getting ready to go to bed, this is what I saw!
Yes ladies an gentleman, a fish in the toilet bowl! Try and ignore the soggy paper and bubbles in the nauseating pool of water and you'll see it... I honestly (after taking the photo) did try and fish out the..fish. But it hide away on the other side of the water outlet... After 15 minutes, I weigh the importance of a life of a fish in a toilet bowl and flushing the bowl, and I flushed.
Well that's it for today. More to come later but tomorrow I'm going to seat in a room full of top brasses from my place to explain why I need to spend $3 million when it cost $3.2 million and why am I so incompetent that I can't do it in $2.5 million.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Spectacular animated GIFs! Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Well if anybody missed me, I'm kinda busy. WIth work (I'm the fucking Finance Officer, as prophecised...damn it!), with fixing up my 2nd bike. Did I mentioned I got a second bike? Well I'll keep it a mystery for now, since it's kinda in a bad shape and needs some major moola to be race ready.
Anyway, I think I may start a new hobby in this special branch of photography. Looks fun!
Enjoy!
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
06 Jun 2005 - Surprise flashback
I got an email today, not an unusual one for me. It's an mp3 request, because some years back when I'm surfing the internet using NUS dialup and Napster was the best thing I learnt in my undergraduate years, I set up my own homepage. It was a fad then, newly Singnet subscribers happily setting up their personal webpage using the generous 4 mb (yes dear, 4 mb) to put pictures, interest, etc. However, being one of the idealist, that the virtue of Internet is because everyone is so willing to share, I decided to post my mp3 collection (tks Napster, you'll always occupy a special place in my heart...) and even posted my email add.
Well, my free webhost closed down. Or so I thought! 2-3 years later, I began recieving emails for mp3 request. And it replied, unless their email cannot handle the 3-4 mb attachment. Well this is one of them:
My first homepage! At the now defunct xoom.
Then, as I mature and find that it isn't cool to keep posting uninteresting biography and personal opinions (how wrong I am!), I devoted myself to sharing files. And here it is, amazingly it's still online!
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